Being an Atheist
For a short time when I was a teenager I decided I would be an atheist. It seemed a lot easier than wondering if I had the right religion or not. It wasn't. If you are an atheist you still have to have a lot of faith. You have to have faith that after we die we cease to exist. You have to have faith that there was no Creator. You have to have faith that there is no supernatural, there is only what is natural. This is actually very hard to do. There is no meaning to life if you are an atheist. There is no purpose. If you believe there is no afterlife and we are a product of evolution then what is the point of being here? Is it to make ourselves happy? Just to live and reproduce? As an atheist I was very hard pressed to come up with a reason to exist. I finally decided that purpose was to live life, which of course leaves you with no real purpose, because what is life? I went around and around about this, to no avail.
My best friend in high school believed that you ceased to exist after you died. We had a once in a life-time friendship. We told each other everything. She was the nicest person you would have ever met, which anyone who ever met her would confirm. She, literally, would not hurt a fly (and got mad at me if I ever tried to kill bugs). We went to a residential high school for math and science. We were roommates our senior year. One of the reasons I applied to my alma mater was because she wanted to go there (and I am glad I did--it was the perfect place for me). During the summer before our freshman year of college we wrote each other letters, she didn't have internet access and I didn't even have a computer and neither of us could afford to make long distant phone calls--we lived 2 hours apart. We started college. She had decided we should not be roommates because we should at least try to make friends, but we still planned to room together if that didn't work out. Our first week of college involved orientation with all the freshman. We didn't go to many things, we just hung out. We were used to living in dorms; we thought we didn't need orientation. We did go on our orientation trip to Devil's Den though. We started our second week. This was our first week of classes. She planned on going home for the weekend after our first week of classes. I thought that was weird because our high school classmates were getting together for a huge camp out party. She insisted I go to the party. I was broke (as usual). She gave me a $20 as a "loan." She gave me a big hug before she left with her mom for the weekend. I went to the party and drank for the first time. The next morning she went out for a walk around the park where her dad was a forest ranger. She took his gun with her and shot herself. I was devastated, but unfortunately I was not that surprised.
My best friend was severely depressed, which I always knew. We talked about it frequently, but she wouldn't get help. She frequently talked about how she thought when she died she would cease to exist. That was what she hoped would happen. After she died I couldn't stand the idea of her ceasing to exist. It was another reason for me to believe in an afterlife.
It was definitely my freshman year that I decided I was wrong about there not being an afterlife. I believed in an afterlife because I refused to believe that she ceased to exist. I still wasn't sure about a Creator, I would become positive of the fact that there was a supreme being in graduate school, but that is another post.
I didn't set out to write this blog about my best friend. But she was more of an atheist than I ever was. I always had a secret hope, deep down. She never did. I pray that God doesn't judge her harshly. I hope that I'll see her in heaven, but I know that I might not because she took her own life. I am comforted by the fact that God knows what is in a person's heart and God knows how sick she was.
I started this blog to explain to you what might go through an atheist's mind. At least explain what was going on in my mind. I wonder if what I am about to tell you is true for others. I would not be surprised if it was. As an atheist I clung to the idea that there was no God. When other people talked about how good God was or how much God loves us I would be very, very uncomfortable. It would cut me to the quick, just as Stephen's defense cut his persecutors to the quick in Acts 7:54. Because, as Paul says in Romans 1:18-25 says, we are born with the knowledge of our Creator. Unfortunately men like to speculate and rely on their intellectual reasoning, instead of the Truth. God eventually gives people over to their speculations and good men fall to ideas that are based on man's reasoning. What makes us think that we can come up with better answers than what God has given us? I know why men do it, because the Bible tells us why. Men listen to the devil tickling their ears with nonsense about how much easier it is to ignore the Word. I know that I ignored the voice that was telling me that there was a God. I ignored it for many years. The devil was telling me that it was impossible to prove that there was a God, hiding the fact that it was also impossible to improve that there wasn't.
You (yes you!) have to have faith in something. What do you have faith in? Why do you have faith in that? Can it be proven? Are you really sure you are right? Is there something tickling you deep down trying to tell you about your Creator and the meaning of life?
Are you wondering what the meaning of life is? I will tell you.
It is to love and worship our Creator and Savior. Does that thought make you uncomfortable? If it does than you need to start searching for the Truth. It is the Bible. But make sure you study with somebody who knows a lot about it. Make sure you ask questions! Make sure you are satisfied with the answers you are given. And always, keep searching. You will find the answers. I know this because the Bible tells me so.
I think my next blog will be about being an agnostic :).
My best friend in high school believed that you ceased to exist after you died. We had a once in a life-time friendship. We told each other everything. She was the nicest person you would have ever met, which anyone who ever met her would confirm. She, literally, would not hurt a fly (and got mad at me if I ever tried to kill bugs). We went to a residential high school for math and science. We were roommates our senior year. One of the reasons I applied to my alma mater was because she wanted to go there (and I am glad I did--it was the perfect place for me). During the summer before our freshman year of college we wrote each other letters, she didn't have internet access and I didn't even have a computer and neither of us could afford to make long distant phone calls--we lived 2 hours apart. We started college. She had decided we should not be roommates because we should at least try to make friends, but we still planned to room together if that didn't work out. Our first week of college involved orientation with all the freshman. We didn't go to many things, we just hung out. We were used to living in dorms; we thought we didn't need orientation. We did go on our orientation trip to Devil's Den though. We started our second week. This was our first week of classes. She planned on going home for the weekend after our first week of classes. I thought that was weird because our high school classmates were getting together for a huge camp out party. She insisted I go to the party. I was broke (as usual). She gave me a $20 as a "loan." She gave me a big hug before she left with her mom for the weekend. I went to the party and drank for the first time. The next morning she went out for a walk around the park where her dad was a forest ranger. She took his gun with her and shot herself. I was devastated, but unfortunately I was not that surprised.
My best friend was severely depressed, which I always knew. We talked about it frequently, but she wouldn't get help. She frequently talked about how she thought when she died she would cease to exist. That was what she hoped would happen. After she died I couldn't stand the idea of her ceasing to exist. It was another reason for me to believe in an afterlife.
It was definitely my freshman year that I decided I was wrong about there not being an afterlife. I believed in an afterlife because I refused to believe that she ceased to exist. I still wasn't sure about a Creator, I would become positive of the fact that there was a supreme being in graduate school, but that is another post.
I didn't set out to write this blog about my best friend. But she was more of an atheist than I ever was. I always had a secret hope, deep down. She never did. I pray that God doesn't judge her harshly. I hope that I'll see her in heaven, but I know that I might not because she took her own life. I am comforted by the fact that God knows what is in a person's heart and God knows how sick she was.
I started this blog to explain to you what might go through an atheist's mind. At least explain what was going on in my mind. I wonder if what I am about to tell you is true for others. I would not be surprised if it was. As an atheist I clung to the idea that there was no God. When other people talked about how good God was or how much God loves us I would be very, very uncomfortable. It would cut me to the quick, just as Stephen's defense cut his persecutors to the quick in Acts 7:54. Because, as Paul says in Romans 1:18-25 says, we are born with the knowledge of our Creator. Unfortunately men like to speculate and rely on their intellectual reasoning, instead of the Truth. God eventually gives people over to their speculations and good men fall to ideas that are based on man's reasoning. What makes us think that we can come up with better answers than what God has given us? I know why men do it, because the Bible tells us why. Men listen to the devil tickling their ears with nonsense about how much easier it is to ignore the Word. I know that I ignored the voice that was telling me that there was a God. I ignored it for many years. The devil was telling me that it was impossible to prove that there was a God, hiding the fact that it was also impossible to improve that there wasn't.
You (yes you!) have to have faith in something. What do you have faith in? Why do you have faith in that? Can it be proven? Are you really sure you are right? Is there something tickling you deep down trying to tell you about your Creator and the meaning of life?
Are you wondering what the meaning of life is? I will tell you.
It is to love and worship our Creator and Savior. Does that thought make you uncomfortable? If it does than you need to start searching for the Truth. It is the Bible. But make sure you study with somebody who knows a lot about it. Make sure you ask questions! Make sure you are satisfied with the answers you are given. And always, keep searching. You will find the answers. I know this because the Bible tells me so.
I think my next blog will be about being an agnostic :).
Posted by: Nichole | 8:15 PM
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